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329 – TWDP – I’ve missed days again..

It’s been a busy sort of week but in a good way.  Getting ready for Christmas, working and working over time, shuttling kids to-and-fro.  This time of year I think that almost everyone gets a bit overwhelmed with all that’s going on.

Last Saturday I went to a friend’s house for my 2nd ever Cookie Exchange baking party.  There were 4 of us baking and that makes for a crowded kitchen!  Some wine was had and dozes of cookies were made.  The 4 dozen cookies I brought home were gone by Sunday afternoon.  Love living with teens!

Actually going to this was a huge accomplishment for me.  Over the past few years I’ve been really struggling with anxiety and depression.  Part of that struggle has been making myself almost home-bound.  I would leave for work, I would do necessary grocery shopping and occasionally would go out with my husband for an hour or so.  But that was pretty  much it.  I had started lying to get out of family get togethers and this past August it really hit me that I was not emotionally healthy in any way.  While I’ve been on medication for depression and anxiety for nearly 7 years this was only the second or third time I was skating on the edge of hurting myself.  After trying unsuccessfully to get in to see a specialist who could manage my medications and council me for several months I finally made an appointment with my primary care.  She’s fantastic and I simply adore her!  She has been writing the script for my meds for nearly 6 years but I knew that she would not be comfortable with adding in new medications, after all she’s a primary care and not a psychiatrist.  When I went to her office and broke down hysterical and confessed to wanting to hurt myself (a delicate way to say I was suicidal) she nearly admitted me to the hospital.  But I had my husband with me who promised to take me to the hospital right away if I got any worse and she asked me to come back in a week.  She used that week to research medications and she did add something in.  It helped but it muted me as well.  After another two months I finally found a psychiatrist & a therapist, had another medication change and have just…just…just…started to feel better.  More energy, better outlook on life and the desire to actual live again.

Part of my disease is doing things to extremes.   While my doctor hasn’t said it yet I think I may be Bipolar II – look it up, it’s pretty interesting.  The new meds (Abilify paired with my Lexapro) has really leveled me out and I’m more engaged.  Hence, the ability to actually go to the cookie exchange – and ENJOY it!  It was a huge step forward for me and it’s made me quite happy.  Next steps include some more cooking at home.  I’m really good at it and I really, really enjoy it but the depression I was in literally backed me into the corner of my couch and I didn’t move for months.  Hopefully I’ll have some recipes to share and photos with them.

More cooking at home, using local products, is part of me getting prepared to live locally.  My original goal – to totally switch from Walmart shopping to local, sustainable products by July 2012 may have been part of a mood swing.  While I still want to do it I think I’ll be going as full bore as originally planned.  I’m working it out in my head and it’s pretty enjoyable for me.  I’m a thinker – makes me very happy when I’m working things out.  Once I have things more concrete I’ll share more.

In the meantime I’m off to watch some TV with hubby.

Gearing up

Back in April I wrote a post about why I wanted to plant a garden and over the past months I’ve slowly been making changes in my and my families lives.

No garden this year as most of our (i.e. my husband’s) effort went into the window replacement project and I started reading a book (The Backyard Homestead: Produce all the food you need on just a quarter acre! Edited by Carleen Madigan) and realized that in order to do what I would really like (create a garden that produces enough food and a wide enough variety of food to feed our family) would need a hell of a lot more planning than I currently had done.  And planning I have been doing.  And thinking.  I do so love to plan.

Here is my current wild hare!  I’d like to commit to feeding my family locally for 365 days.

What do I mean by locally?  Right now I’m working on a mission statement of sorts but I hope to either buy all of my food from vendors within a 50 mile radius and/or use the food I’ve grown or canned myself.  Even with this vague idea I’ve realized that I am not quite prepared for that.  First off, I don’t want to that during the winter.  I need to find local vendors for some items (like flour, sugar, stuff like that) and in the absence of that I have to find replacements for those items.

So I have read on the interwebs (which know everything) that is actually takes approximately 66 days to create a habit.  That makes me think that in 365 days we might be firmly entrenched in the locavore lifestyle.

I’ve given myself a start date of July 1, 2012.  Seems far away I know but I have a lot to do to get ready and by July we should have some produce from a garden.  I’ll put a page up that lists things I think I need and cross them off as I get them.  And I’ll find a countdown widget to toss in my side bar because tweaking my blog is fun and an obsession.

Another thing I hope this will do is prompt me to write more.  I’ve lost it over the past few years and I miss it.  I want it back.  But it takes practice and this is it!

Stay tuned!

Category: Living Locally & Sustainably, Preparedness, Scraps  Comments off